i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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