I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
