capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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