dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
