new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize