hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
