yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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