why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
