you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize