ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
