The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
