she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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