I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
