I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
