and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
