He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
