dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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