is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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