my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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