Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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