She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
