i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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