I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
