Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
