I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
