@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
