If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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