I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
