god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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