You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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