Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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