we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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