Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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