Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
