Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize