Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
