Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
