so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
