10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
