I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
