you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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