Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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