yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
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He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
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Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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