3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize