You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
