Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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