P.S. I can't hear my feet
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
