No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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