Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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