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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.

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• (716): View more from New York

  So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I booty called her while she was in labor.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.

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• (427): View more from

  Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.

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