Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  well..are you winning?

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  (732): i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head. (215): well..are you winning? http://tfl.nu/bl8w
  Replies (24) Good night (1615) Bad night (673)
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  (619): View more from California

  just caught grandpa beating off in the living room

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  (619): just caught grandpa beating off in the living room http://tfl.nu/3g7q
  Replies (128) Good night (8315) Bad night (61940)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.

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  (780): i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least. http://tfl.nu/btfu
  Replies (29) Good night (925) Bad night (2500)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing

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  (519): mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing http://tfl.nu/5ec7
  Replies (7) Good night (4042) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway

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  (443): Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway http://tfl.nu/al82
  Replies (15) Good night (3779) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30

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  (615): It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30 http://tfl.nu/ukox
  Replies (15) Good night (6283) Bad night (1697)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  ambylanc

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  what?

  (519): View more from Ontario

  there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.

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  (519): ambylanc (1-519): what? (519): there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it. http://tfl.nu/lrq4
  Replies (8) Good night (3070) Bad night (1482)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early

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  (914): hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early http://tfl.nu/k8sh
  Replies (9) Good night (3106) Bad night (1190)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?

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  (517): I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm? http://tfl.nu/cxi2
  Replies (7) Good night (3642) Bad night (880)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now

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  (203): Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now http://tfl.nu/p7dd
  Replies (2) Good night (1397) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.

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  (313): Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/aqg4
  Replies (0) Good night (1306) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.

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  (774): We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot. http://tfl.nu/pm9n
  Replies (7) Good night (1918) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.

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  (423): There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears. http://tfl.nu/uyth
  Replies (3) Good night (1261) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.

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  (519): You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew. http://tfl.nu/ni79
  Replies (2) Good night (875) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.

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  (770): Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else. http://tfl.nu/0so2
  Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (639)

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