He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good