I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.