evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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