Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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