Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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