he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We don't watch enough power rangers
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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