I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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