Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
