He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
