if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i barfeds in our rink
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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