Please, let me fuck your mom
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
