drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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